Thoughts 1-27-08

hey.
I was thinking, these past days i have no clue wtf ive been thinking/doing.
im pretty much throwing away what i have with alvina cuz of kinsey...
but then like u said, its hard for me to do anything cuz i have to stay "friends" with alvina...
i think ur right, it would be easier if i was dating alvina... but i dun think thats the right answer.

i duno, i just hope that i can hold together long enough to not do anything stupid that would hurt alvina. i guess its too late and ive already done alot of stupid stuff. i duno, im really tired rite now.

pray that ill have better self control/judgment. and that ill be able to resist blond chicks.

-ivan

Mark 1:1-11

We can learn from this that John is humble and we should be more humble like John. Verse 7 and 8: "After me will come one more powerful than I, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie. I baptize you with water, but he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit." Even though everyone is coming to John to confess their sins, giving John a lot of power, he views himself as nothing next to Jesus, whom is almighty.
Verse 11: "And a voice came from heaven: "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased." Jesus is perfect.

Thought - 1/14/2008 - Monday

With all your heart you must trust the LORD and not your own judgment.

Always let him lead you, and he will clear the road for you to follow.

Proverbs 3:5-6

I think that this verse is what defines my struggle. Ive been trusting my own judgment.
From this day forth, I hope that I will have the strength and endurance to live my life as this verse describes. To trust the Lord with all my heart, and i disregard my own judgment. So may you too.

We meeting on Wednesday?

-Ivan

Further thoughts

The root of all problems: this whole ambiguity crap. True or false? I have no idea... But i do know i have sincere love for janice, for alvina, for you.. and all for God.
Problems:

• their parents: is it honoring? is it respectful? we need to find out. grow some balls and ask. i believe if they approve, then voi la.
  

• them: same question is it honoring? is it respectful? are we destroying their image, their reputation with this ambiguity? I believe so because they are being "cheated" by this half assed relationship. People think were going out, but were not... so they arnt deserving our full ...responsibility? We are not treating them like our girlfriends nor are we treating them as any other girl... so they are getting jacked.

• God: how could we possibly glorify God in this situation? Well, according to Jay's response.. dating is not mentioned in the bible.. so its kinda iffy. But dating/relationship is ultimately for marriage. But if your intentions are right, if you TRULY love this girl... then why do you have to be the "godliest" person? As long as you believe that God is in control of your life, you have the desire to seek the truth... to change, to tranform more Christlike then i believe there is nothing wrong with a relationship. in this partnership you will help each other develop and grow spiritually and "lead" her to worship God. What does it mean to lead her? I think what this means is that you will be the one holding fast. It is your responsibility to ensure of HER needs, HER safety, HER faith. Providing? Well, obviously we cannot provide for them...so what happens? We are only teenagers, how are we suppose to provide money wise? We dont. What we do/can provide is ourselves. We give them our sincerity, because they are a creation of God, and that is what we should provide for Him. intentions of the heart... what IS the intention of your heart?

-fred

Thought - 1/13/2008 - Sunday

I haven't been going about life with the attitude that i should be living with God's best intentions in mind. sorry.
i am weak. selfish. i duno wat im doing.
pray for my strength and that ill have gods intentions in mind before i act
pray that i'll have the strength, self control to carry out what God wants

-ivan

Luke 2:1-52

This is the story of the birth of Jesus. I think the main purpose of this passage is to remind us of how God continuously loves us. For example, verses 8-11, God told these shepherds about baby Jesus. If He had not, these shepherds would have continued the rest of their lives the way it has been, most likely full of sin and doubt. So in terms God had mercied these Shepherds with His presence. This story parallels our lives. Is that not true? God gives us trials, but He also mercies us. Life could be a lot worse but God decided it shouldn't be for God often reveals Himself to us in various ways.
In verses 29-32, Simeon says to Jesus:
"Now Lord, You are releasing Your bond-servant to depart in peace,
According to Your word;
For my eyes have seen Your salvation,
Which You have prepared in the presence of all peoples,
A LIGHT OF REVELATION TO THE GENTILES,
And the glory of Your people Israel."
I'm not exactly sure what "releasing bond-servant to depart in peace" means, but I think its saying Jesus loves us so much that He sacrifices Himself to be in flesh, to come down personally and show us the light. "A light of revelation to the Gentiles, and the glory of Your people Israel" a light of revelation to the Gentiles... it means He has shown His presence even to nonbelievers so that they may seek the truth. Why? Because He loves us.

Thought - 1/12/2008 - Saturday

So Alvina/Janice want to hang out with us on Monday, Feb 18th, which is Washington's birthday.
She said that we would be cooking stuff and watching a movie at her house and just hanging out.

I'm kinda troubled and have conflicting feelings inside. Actually, i'm very troubled about this.
Here is why:

1. Why are we hanging out?
• Sure u can argue that "theres nothing wrong with just hanging out with friends" but if u dont lie to urself and look at it, its pretty much a date. its like a halfassed date
2. Is this really glorifying to God?
• Are our intentions pure? do we wanna hang out just for fun and enjoyment, or are we really there to get to know them better and to keep ourselves and them pure for marriage?
3. If we havn't asked their parents to date them yet, should we really keep doing these halfassed dates?
• It is not really honoring to their parents if we disreguard them and continue to halfass date their daughters.
4. Are we ready to date them?
• Instead of doing devotions, we waste 3 hours trying to fill a co2 tank and talk about alcohol. we arent ready.

Im asking these questions to myself and im trying not to lie to myself. i duno wat to do.
i mean, i really wanna hang out with alvina and all, but i dont think its good for our relationship.
Same with u/janice. Keep praying about it.
stay pure.
-Ivan

Luke 2 - 1/11/08 - Friday

So our passage for these past few days is Luke 2.
The beginning of this passage just seems to tell the miraculous story of Jesus' birth.
Versus 1-38 did not really say much to me. They just seemed to talk about Jesus' birth and how angels, shepherds, priests/priestesses all glorified and honored Baby Jesus.
Verse 39 reads "When Joseph and Mary had done everything required by the Law of the Lord, they returned to Galilee to their own town of Nazareth"
I found verse 39 pretty interesting because it shows that Joseph/Mary really love God and did what God wanted FIRST before anything else.
Verse 40 reads "And the child grew and became strong; he was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was upon him"
This shows that Jesus is... Godlike... but then again, i think that we should try and strive and put ourselves into that verse too, like "and Freddy grew and become strong; he was filled with wisdom and the grace of God was upon him"
Verse 41-50 talk about Jesus going to town, going to the church and then his parents leave to go home and lose Jesus and find him 3 days later at the church. His parents are worried and Jesus tells them "Why were you searching for me? Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" His parents were initially pissed at him for ditching them without telling them. If this happened nowadays, i think that my parents would be pissed at me if i ditched them to go on a church camp or somethin for a few days without telling them; However, Jesus had pure and good intentions.
Verse 51 reads "his mother treasured all these things in her heart" I think that this also shows alot of faith. Mary does not really understand wats going on. Shes probably still pissed that Jesus ditched them for 3 days, but she still humbles herself to this little 12 year old (thats like, Deeds status...) and treasures what Jesus says and does.
Verse 52 reads "And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men"
I think that similar to verse 40, what if we put ourselves into this verse? what if it read "and freddy/ivan grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men"? i think that it would be golden if that were true.
There were many lessons learned from this chapter, but the most important thing, is to have Faith and remember that we too can increase in wisdom, stature and favor with God and men... strive towards it.